5x the creative self

After a long pause I return to these quaint lists of things currently on my mind. This time not because they were asked after, but because it turns out publishing these lists here is a marvelous archive for me to draw on. Hopefully it is also an interesting collection for you to ponder

Enjoy

1. Ursula K. Le Guin on the Inner Preacher vs the Inner Teacher via Brain Pickings

“Art does change people’s minds and hearts. And an artist is a member of a community: the people who may see, hear, read her work. My first responsibility is to my craft, but if what I write may affect other people, obviously I have a responsibility to them too.” – Ursula K. Le Guin

2. Stephen Bachlor on Wonderous Doubt via On Being

3. Busdriver – The Imperfect Cinema via Spotify

4. An Open Letter to Jeffery Straker and Kelly Jo Burke by Cat Haines

5. Angel Olsen via The Great Discontent

Change of seasons

Things that I don’t feel like doing anymore & don’t know why:

1. Drinking alcohol to get drunk
2. Making accommodations for relationships that don’t fuel me
3. Putting on the pretence of happiness
4. Taking nudes & selfies
5. Getting angry over the news
6. Holding space for people not invested in my well being 
7. Working myself to the bone
8. Working for free
9. Skipping meals
10. Putting myself second

Things that I am craving & I don’t know why:

1. Time alone uninterrupted
2. Time in silence among the trees
3. Slow jams & female vocalists
4. Non-violent TV & media
5. Tidy living space
6. Manual labor
7. Wholistic foods & meals
8. Meaningful connections
9. Patience in thoughts
10. Opportunity to grow new roots

Things that I am doing & I don’t know why:

1. Looking forward to going to work
2. Giving up on detailed long term plans
3. Posting less on social media
4. Reading less & consuming less media
5. Talking to the point of excess with people near me
6. Thinking to the point of excess about how my actions are impacting others
7. Snapping at people I am not close to over small inconveniences 
8. Feeling guilty for not taking care of everyone around me at the expense of myself
9. Unable to formulate thoughts & ideas into complete written words
10. Looking for reasons to base how I feel off of

Things that I am not doing & I don’t know why:

1. Sitting down to meditate
2. Talking to my friends about how I’m feeling
3. Writing 
4. Practicing yoga at home
5. Working on my creative pursuits
6. Looking for another job
7. Concerning myself about finances 
8. Feeling depressed, suicidal, or hopeless
9. Starting new projects or latching onto new ideas
10. Longing for something or someone that is not already here with me

That’s a wrap.

Wow. What a weekend. What a festival. Thank you. Thank you to everyone that conspired to share their talents, and to bring this far fetched dream to reality. We far exceeded my wildest dreams of what this festival could be, and what it could mean for so many beautiful, wonderful, humans. 

For me it’s meant the opportunity to live my creative values, to give back to my community in a meaningful way, to be part of something larger than myself, to create new works & opportunities that are selfish in the best way possible. I have been consistently taken aback by the waves of love & generosity everyone has poured into every aspect of this festival. .
I keep saying it, but this festival was a stone soup production. To put it bluntly I just decided I was going to put my cash on the line with no hope of return & do whatever it takes to make this festival something that would feel like home. But once I provided the pot & the stone that drew people together their contributions far exceeded my expectations in every way. 10 amazing artists, over $1,000 grossed, audience packed to the rafters, and especially the love.

There were many people that introduced themselves to me for the first time this weekend to tell me how much they enjoyed the festival, and started out with “im not really an artist” or “I’ve never performed before but, I’ve had this idea” and that’s the most beautiful thing of all. There is a thirst. So many people with ideas stirring waiting for a pot to boil in. They want their opportunity to be part of creating something magical. I’m honoured to have connected with so many hearts & hope it contintues well into 2017.

There are so many more things I could say but can’t find the words.

I love this little city so much. I love these brave, willing, weirdos so much. I love creating art that isn’t for the final report numbers. I love creating space for creative connections. I love you for giving me space to do what I love.

Thank you all for your immeasurable support.

Take care & god bless

Half a morning thought

I keep getting trapped in the idea that finance is the only way to make my life bigger. Cold hard cash  seems to be the most direct route to get what I want because it doesn’t rely on me as a person having or creating any value in the world. This thought inherently devalues myself no wonder it’s so harmful & addictive. I’ve been happier on less, and not as successful on more. If balance is the key & im out of alignment then perhaps it’s time to start thinking about what else might be missing.

5x where the mystery begins

A new list of insightful pondering.

Enjoy

1. Ray Bradbury on Writing, Emotion vs. Intelligence, and the Core of Creativity via Brain Pickings. Set aside a half hour to listen to the entire interview, it’s beautiful to hear such verve for life.
2. My very kind friend d’j sent me this beautiful video of Lydia Lunch on the cultural history of No Wave it gave me shivers
3.  Fruit for Feminism video shared via  Laura McNaughton. I found to be a very soothing and reassuring video which I return to often when anxious.
4. The Empty Brain via shared with me by Sarah Flood. I’ve found myself often returning to the ideas of this article and re-examining how I understand myself and the world around me.
5. The Intelligence of Emotions: Philosopher Martha Nussbaum on How Storytelling Rewires Us and Why Befriending Our Neediness is Essential for Happiness via Brain Pickings. Spent a very fruitful evening in long conversation with a dear friend about ideas in this vein of how we are responsible for crafting our own life narrative.
6. Finally a gentle reminder for each of us Is it selfish to follow your bliss? via Marlo Johnson