5x Day one

Today I start an 8 month journey to unleash my full healing leadership potential as part of a group of fierce women deepening our yogic practice together. It wasn’t looking like I was going to do it for a while, the cost was too steep, my fear too intense, but something galvanized for me once Trump was elected. Here was the most terrifying outcome for my friends & family I hadn’t even dared consider. If he was to be orange Mussolini then what did I want to do with my legacy before it’s too late? In the face of so much fear & hate I chose to love myself more deeply than I ever have, to take the opportunities while they were here today because tomorrow is uncertain. Too offer myself in service to my higher purpose. As a dear friend said, I don’t know what the right thing to do is, but I will keep looking for the next good thing to do. One foot in front of the other.

  1. The importance of touch via Broadley
  2. Habitual postures, habitual emotions, habitual thoughts via Oliver Goetgeluck
  3. Leonard Cohen – Hallelujah also read Leonard Cohen on Democracy & it’s Redemptions via Brain Pickings
  4. History tells us what’s next via Huffington Post
  5. Conversation with Mirabai Bush via On Being
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OVERHEAR by Out of the Box Theatre

The next, and probably last, performance piece I am working on this year is Overhear by Out of the Box Theatre. Torien Cafferata approached me with the opportunity to be a part of this uniquely intimate experience & I couldn’t resist.

If you are interested in learning more you can check the Facebook event here.

I don’t want to spoil anything for those planning on attending, but this has been an extremely emotionally demanding piece for me to create. This is the last project on my plate before beginning my fruits & flowers phase. I’m excited to see how it will be received, and to hopefully understand a little more about catharsis role in art & healing from this project.

If you can make it out I would love to hear your experience receiving the piece, and I look forward to sharing my experience creating it after. 

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The pupil asks the teacher

Once upon a time there was a very sleepy pupil and a very smart teacher. Or wait, was it a very sleepy teacher and a very smart pupil? Once upon a time there was a very smart teacher and a very smart pupil. They sat down to a battle of wits, but they lost because they couldn’t stay awake long enough to see the conclusion. No wait, they were both asleep in a dream about a question neither of them could answer. Wait, I’m going to start again. Once upon a time a student asked their teacher why they always slept through their lessons “wouldn’t it be much easier to draw conclusions on the chalkboard awake?” The teacher said to the student “I am too tired to draw your conclusions for you anymore why don’t you dream some up yourself?” No, this is all wrong. Once upon a time a student asked their teacher to tell them a story that could illustrate this lesson, but the teacher asked the student to dream up their own. After a time the student said “Once upon the time there was a very sleepy pupil and a very smart teacher. Or wait-“

Often what unschooling looks like is a series of fascinating questions. 

One of my favourite books as a child was a little picture book called Ernie Follows His Nose. It was a simple story of someone innocently following their curios nose to explore the world around them. It sounds silly in its naivety, but neatly illustrates one of the corner stones of student directed learning.

To make a crude comparison: the traditional industrial education model is structured to have a single point of authority stand at the front and deliver a lot of information that is meant to impart a series of answers which students are then graded on for accuracy. In this model questions only arise as a means to get to the end of the lesson. There is a shame for having too many questions. They gum up the flow of the knowledge machine, which is why we separate students out for learning too quickly or too slowly to improve efficency.

By contrast, unschooling dives in question first with no time to raise hands to authority. The student is at the front of the expedition actively engaged in wrestling with their personal multitudinous sea of questions “Where did that smell come from? Why did this happen? How does that work? When will this occur? Who is that? What am I?” The lessons are an accumulative experience as students gather information while following their curiosity only measuring success against their own appetite. The unschooling motto is “the world is my classroom – learning all of the time.”

I believe that to be deeply curios is to hold a simultaneous respect for rigor & whimsy. Curiosity must be nimble enough to chase after the glittering fascinating thing while also plying fastidious attention to the understanding of it. Questions manifest more curiosity manifest more questions. A healthy appetite for the unknown is essential to my creative practice & self studies.

With all that in mind here are…

Questions I am currently contemplating:

  1. What is the mind/body connection? How does this connection affect our health & growth?
  2. What is catharsis? What is its role in art, and what is its role in healing, and are the two related?
  3. What does it mean to be useful in society? Is it necessary?
  4. How do we cultivate nurturing love? 
  5. How does the expression of self impact the relation to self & the selves experience of the world?
  6. What does it mean to be androgynous? In a post-binary world would androgyny be necessary?
  7. What does it mean to be in alignment? Is the idea of a best self a subtle expression of internalized shame, and if so what does self acceptance & actualization look like beyond that?
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5x spellbound

Always be hustling to unleash that magic flow on the world.

Enjoy

  1. Alan Watts on the Hocus Pocus of Money via late night google – a reassuring way to think about income when my brain starts to spin
  2. Aesop Rock interviewed by Pitchfork also Impossible Kid is well in the lead for my favourite album released this year
  3. I recently picked up milk and honey by rupi kaur and fell instantly in love – you can check out her insta poetry here
  4. Anias Nin on the fluid self via Brain Pickings – a gentle reminder, an invitation 
  5. The Science of Using Yoga to Heal from Trauma via Bitch – my body is the only place I’ve ever felt at home & I want to get back there
  6. New track Train Song by Shirley & The Pyramids – love these guys & they’re out conquering the Canadian tour circuit now so check that shiz out
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Huffing Gas

It’s been years since I worked up the magic blend of courage & cash to leave you.

A little over a year since I realized what you were doing to me was abuse.

Seven months since I decided I wouldn’t let myself be treated that way anymore.

Three months since I started believing there was another option.

And I’m still unlearning all the ways you made me feel less than myself, smaller, quieter, afraid, unloveable, untrustable, unfuckable, unstable, stupid, useless, paranoid, broken, and crazy. My anxiety is worse than ever, but I’m healing. 

I am healing.

I am healing.

I am healing.

I am healing.

I am healing.

Inspired by Everyday Feminism

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5x tea party of one

As Alice waddles home on her new found seeing legs, I too have landed securely back in the familiar belly of daily life. Still reverberating with thoughts, questions, ideas, and love stirred at the lab, I am holding space for the silence to echo back the most powerful chords touched. In anticipation for holding space, and some oblique strategizing¬† in the boreal forest, I’ve gathered some things that have come to my attention in the last week to be added to the simmering aesthetic melding pot.

Enjoy

  1. Tinder via Shane Koyczan
  2. Life Hacks of the Poor and Aimless via Laurie Penny
  3. Viper’s Nest via Kaia Kater
  4. Empathy is Actually a Choice via The New York Times
  5. Leisure as the Basis for Culture: An Obscure German Phillosopher’s Timely 1948 Manifesto on Reclaiming our Human Dignity in a Culture of Workaholism via Brain Pickings, compliment with a brief word from Alan Watts on Work as Play
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