5x haunted hallows

A powerful resin of energy is waiting to be released. Right in my chest. Already a morbidly dark time of year fascinated equally by death and celebration, and my mood is no lighter for it. Unripe fruit spoiled by holy ghosts. Winter’s icy grip at our throats. This hallowed ground where forgotten blood baths lay. Here are some things I’ve been considering in the witching hours.

  1. For Northern Girls via Moontime Warrior an important poem inspired by these tragic events, and breaking today a fifth death
  2. Chelsea Wolfe – Unknown Rooms: A Collection of Acoustic Songs via Spotify
  3. New Moon in Scorpio Spells inspired by Pam Bustin who shared this post here
  4. Playing God via Radiolab
  5. Silent Era – Punching Out The Poison via Chelsea Martin of Man Meat infamy
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Morose Texts from Last Night the Sequel

I need help finding the broken pieces of myself can you come over?

I locked myself out of my heart again, slept in the cold </3

New tinder profile: seeking someone to watch Netflix and hold me while I cry DTF

I’m loosing my heart to the sea

what’s good for the goose isnt’ always good for the gander

pretty sure soul mates are made up of the pieces of yourself you shed along the way

I am the glue keeping the cracks together 

First date: brazenly drunk. Second date: painfully shy. Third date: soul mates. Stops texting you back. Rinse & repeat

I only have two settings and both of them are tongue tied

the greatest romance is with my own broken heart

My type is the sad lonely artist types who can’t love me back

New tinder profile: seeking a poet who doesn’t slobber when he makes love

 the kind of girl with a lover for each of her neurosis 

can’t sleep my feelings will get me, you?

My hobbies include dwelling on the past and using it to sabotage my future 

Googled my symptoms came up with malignant tumor of fear of rejection and self hatred

I just called to say I’m over you is code for when are you coming back

I’m concerned about you is code for the amount of details you share about your breakdowns on the internet makes me uncomfortable with my own secrets

It burns me up to feel this way about your icy shoulder

New tinder profile: if I knew how to accept the loneliness I wouldn’t be on here

I’m not worried he will hit me again I’m worried I won’t be able to feel love if he doesn’t

Failure is the only option that feels right

I can’t hold your hand bcz I’m too busy holding my heart together 

I built my home in the scary place so I wouldn’t have to run as far to chase my demons

It takes a lot of courage to drown your sorrows like puppies

text u 😭😢😪 bcz I’m dead inside and can’t shed real tears

Maybe only broken ppl know how to love my broken pieces

Nightmares about you holding her hand again

heart starting to dissolve into sweet nothings YOLO

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5x femz feelz

Here is your long weekend reading list on the tongue in cheek theme femz feelz which playfully refers to the emotionalized femininity which has been hyper-sensationalized and sold back to us as a derogatory trait instead of a consecrated achievement in brutal vulnerability. I suggest you read these after you paint your face in your warrior colours and cry and scream until the colours run together.

Enjoy

  1. Carolee Scheemann  on Feminism, Activism, and Ageing via AnOther
  2. Sick Woman Theory via Mask Magazine
  3. Negative Emotions are Key to Well Being via Scientific Americans
  4. Louis Bernice Halfe reading Success In Spite Of on BBC Radio via Pam Bustin
  5. Aninas Nin on Why Emotional Excess is Essential to Creativity via Brain Pickings

Bonus listening my favourite album of all time Jane Vain and the Dark Matter’s Give Us Your Hands

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Free style in the key of a minor

Speaking in semantics

Late night manic antics

Scrawling out so frantic

Because this flow is automatic

Locked tranquility in the attic

Nothing on the radio but static

These shakes are symptomatic

Of larger systematic

Issues

Pull thru

Lies true

Miss you

Sick too

Means boo

These verses

Barely scratch the surface

Lost with no purpose

Looking worse still

New tries

Low highs

Long good byes

Watery eyes

Deep heart sighs

*********

Discovered in a note on my phone where I keep the half baked/drunk/over emotional texts that I don’t send from about two months ago while going through a shitty break up (is there another kind?) shared here because it’s actually kind of pretty.

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