5x self love

I’ve been participating in the 7 day self love challenge over on facebook. While I might reprise some of that writing here for y’all, meanwhile I wanted to share some links to things that I’ve been contemplating as I spend some time lovingly navel gazing.

1. Nobel Winning Physicist Frank Wilczek on Complementarity as the Quantum of Life and Why Reality is Woven of Opposing Truths  via Brain Pickings
2. Solo-Polyamory, Singleish, Single & Poly via Psychology Today
3. Our Individual-Collective Midnight Anxieties via dear soul Kyle Golemba
4. How to Flush Negative and Draining Emotions Before They Lead to Physical Illness via Hearty Soul
5. Gabor Mate: The Myth of Normal via Crazywise
6. Bonus: Tonight I will be completeing Danielle Ayoka’s Full Moon ritual. You can read more about it here

First snow fall

My heart is at home in the wet flakes that coat the black city in dreamy slumber.

Ice cold winds sting the cheeks like bitter promises too sweet to keep. 

There is a familiar resonance to as winter makes her grand entrance. She doesn’t play for keeps, this is just a taste of her white wonderland. Tomorrow will be grey slush & tepid salutations. 

In the middle of the night everything hangs perfectly crystal serene. As home settles into my heart for the year. My bones welcome the aches & chill if only for the thrill of being alive trying to start a fire in such a frigid place.

Count snowflakes on the glass. Each one a wish. Longing for those long silent nights walking arms crossed following a single star calling with my name on it.

Holy in her transience.

Melting stars on my tongue.

Wishing on light passing.

The snow will be gone by morning.

Amen

Jubilee

Ritual is very important to me. I was not raised religiously which is perhaps why learning about other customs was so fascinating. Unified words, actions in order, shaped over time, generation to generation. There is something significant that there is a world wide tradition in observing repetition even if the specifics change. It’s meaningful to me.

When I was a girl I dreamed of taking a twelve day silent retreat away from the world to go deep inside of myself and discover the secrets lying there. In my vision I would meditate in silence for twelve days with only my writing and nature to keep me company culminating in a all night vigil surrounded by my nearest and dearest dancing my way into my golden year. It didn’t happen like that of course. I didn’t have the control over my space or my schedule enough to create that kind of solemnity of festivities, but it’s an image I’ve held on to. A dream of a dream of a dream.

This year is my diamond year. A sparkling reminder of what might be discovered in the dark depths. A glimmer concealed in the pressures of shifting tectonic plates. Minerals crystallize. Sharp. Bright. Strong. I now have a room of my own where I am sole master o’er my domain, and very little responsibility to those outside of it.
The time is ripe to revisit that dream.

Twenty-five days & twenty-five nights.
I am taking a vow to come unto myself in solemn reverie.

What would it be like to live my life only for me?

Lovely seclusion.
Consecrated purpose.
A devoted practice of self.

The thought feels intoxicatingly delicious!

Is this a vow of silence? Kind of.
Is this a vow of stillness? Closer.
This is a vow of oneness.

To inhabit myself fully and accept perfect completeness found there.

This is not an exercise in austerity or virtue. Although I will be giving certain things up, and ritualizing others. The intention is never to curb or manipulate the will of self to serve other purpose. There is no alternate agenda or inspired syllabus, no prepared program to guide my steps. I do not need to arrive “better” out the other side of this journey.
I am my best already.

Pure indulgence.
Private glory.
The gift to myself of time & energy just to be.

A diamond in the rough.

Morning offering

  

May I develop complete acceptance and openness to all situations and emotions, and to all people.

May I experience everything nakedly, completely without mental reservations or blockages.

May I never withdraw from life, or centralize onto myself.

May my heart be laid bare and open to the fire of all that is.

– taken from the Art Monestary Project Lectio Devina originally from Dharma Ocean