Change of seasons

Things that I don’t feel like doing anymore & don’t know why:

  1. Drinking alcohol to get drunk
  2. Making accommodations for relationships that don’t fuel me
  3. Putting on the pretence of happiness
  4. Taking nudes & selfies
  5. Getting angry over the news
  6. Holding space for people not invested in my well being 
  7. Working myself to the bone
  8. Working for free
  9. Skipping meals
  10. Putting myself second

Things that I am craving & I don’t know why:

  1. Time alone uninterrupted
  2. Time in silence among the trees
  3. Slow jams & female vocalists
  4. Non-violent TV & media
  5. Tidy living space
  6. Manual labor
  7. Wholistic foods & meals
  8. Meaningful connections
  9. Patience in thoughts
  10. Opportunity to grow new roots

Things that I am doing & I don’t know why:

  1. Looking forward to going to work
  2. Giving up on detailed long term plans
  3. Posting less on social media
  4. Reading less & consuming less media
  5. Talking to the point of excess with people near me
  6. Thinking to the point of excess about how my actions are impacting others
  7. Snapping at people I am not close to over small inconveniences 
  8. Feeling guilty for not taking care of everyone around me at the expense of myself
  9. Unable to formulate thoughts & ideas into complete written words
  10. Looking for reasons to base how I feel off of

Things that I am not doing & I don’t know why:

  1. Sitting down to meditate
  2. Talking to my friends about how I’m feeling
  3. Writing 
  4. Practicing yoga at home
  5. Working on my creative pursuits
  6. Looking for another job
  7. Concerning myself about finances 
  8. Feeling depressed, suicidal, or hopeless
  9. Starting new projects or latching onto new ideas
  10. Longing for something or someone that is not already here with me
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A few things coming to me lately 

  1. Swami Radha on the Divine Mother via Yasodhara Ashram
  2. Albert Camus on the essential question of life via Brain Pickings
  3. A Seat At The Table via Solange in light of her recent performance 
  4. Baked French Toast via Smitten Kitchen
  5. What If We Admitted to Children Sex is Primarily About Pleasure? I saved this article last week, and forgot about it until it turned up in a dream today explaining sex & pleasure to my brother in context of becoming a superhero 
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