5x physical form

Our physical form. The inescapable vessel we navigate this life through. The easily perceived creative expression of ourselves as we exist in this moment.

I am very fortunate that I have had a peaceful relationship with my body from an early age. This was supported by the fact that society had a peaceful relationship with my body as a white, cis, able bodied, thin, traditionally feminine person. I have never had a serious injury or illness that has given me reason to doubt or mistrust my body. My gender identity, although sometimes limiting or discriminated against, is generally perceived to be aligned with my physical body which protects me from a lot of harm. I have experienced great pains and great pleasures but neither has caused me to lose my connection to this living breathing vessel. Because I have such a peaceful relationship to my body it does not seem fair for me to reflect on the limits of my relationship to it. There are others that struggle everyday for what I have. And yet it is precisely because of that I feel it is still important to reflect that I am not my body.

I am not body, and in a blink of an immortal eye my body will break down and fade to dust. All of its quirks, concerns, and candor are fleeting at best. This inherent flaw renders all else mute in its shadow.

So how to live a creative life in this temporal form? Here are a few things I have been contemplating.

1. Rae Spoon’s latest album Bodies of Water they explore how like bodies, water is heavily regulated and increasingly commodified, despite being fundamental to life.

2. Everything You Know About Obesity is Wrong via one of my heroes Kimya Dawson who had this tender Instagram post on the subject

3.Our Sister Becky: What If The Doctors Had Listened to Her By Kate Beaton via The Cut

4. Shon Faye interviews Travis Alabanza about their new theatre piece BURGERZ via Alok Vaid-Menon

5. Music Video for Sea Dragon by Covet

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Where does it hurt?

I would like to help. I don’t know where to begin. Tell me where does it hurt? It’s ok you can trust me. I’ve been hurt before too. In fact I’m hurting right now. I know it’s not always easy to say. Take your time. Let me help you. How can I sooth your pain? There is nothing too small or too large you could ask me for. I would love to help you. Can you point to where it hurts? Perhaps we can just sit a while. Tell me what is on your mind. The questions that pull at your heart. We can try to answer them together. Because when I see your pain I feel mine too. I would like to help make it better. Even if it’s only for a little while. Even if it’s imperfect & flawed. Even if you don’t think it matters. It matters to me. To see you happy & cared for. Because the love that we share heals me too. The parts of me that hurt feel better knowing you are safe & content. It might be a long journey, and it won’t always be easy work. But I will not turn away when I see you are in pain. All that pain hurts me too. I am also scared. I dont know where to begin. There is no place I would rather be than right here with your pain. For as long as you are hurting I am hurting too. I can only see with my two eyes, listen with my two ears, work with my two hands, and love with my big heart. But I am here in your service. Please tell me my love, where do you hurt?

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