17 things I learned about sex after having sex

I saw a click bait article with this headline today and found their list rather disappointing, so here is my Hot Take on the subject.

1. Boys that are insecure about their body will criticize mine. It’s easier just not to go there, but accidents happen and sometimes just having nice things to say about each other will make everyone feel better.

2. It’s ok to like to have sex for sex sake. It’s just as fun shared with strangers, friends, or intimates. Pleasure has no hierarchy.

3. Trauma is part of a healthy sex life, mine or my partners, getting comfortable naming it will help bring joy to those vulnerable moments.

4. Lube literally makes everything better. Not that things were bad before, but just better.

5. Having sex with someone will not change how I feel about them. Never has it ever. Good sex won’t save bad relationships. bad sex won’t kill good friendships. 

6. Internalized homophobia/biphobia is real. I am still deserving of love & good sex even when I try to self sabotage. See point 3.

7. Making eye contact during sex is weird. That’s ok, it doesn’t ever really get any less weird, but sometimes it’s not so bad.

8. Initial gut reactions on whether I should fuck someone are generally accurate. 

9. Sex on drugs is not that great. Being high is kind of boring to begin with so it gives you something to do, but it’s kind of boring sex too.

10. It’s often more fun giving pleasure than receiving pleasure because of how vulnerability & anxiety work, but because most people feel this way sometimes giving over entirely is a treat.

11. Despite all the click bait to the contrary, sex isn’t that great for stress busting. Stick to masturbation & angry gay porn.

12. Period sex is way more fun than regular sex. More wet, engorged, horny, and my favourite messy. There is literally nothing better then being covered in your own blood & cum.

13. Threesomes are way more fun in practice than in the movies because I treat my friends more respectfully & playfully.

14. Don’t fuck people that aren’t worth talking to. It’s awkward. Be the slut you want to see in the world.

15. Literally no one I’ve had sex with or talked to knows how to use a dental dam. Fuck the education system.

16. Sex can be both performative & intimate. One does not make the other untrue. 

17. It sounds corny as fuck, but the best thing to happen to my sex life is to learn to love myself. In the tangible hands on sense. It’s a lifelong research project to know every sensation, sound, taste, and smell that turns me on and give it to myself. 


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