100/50

This is the 100th post on this strange blog, and we recently welcomed the 50th follower.
Seems odd no?
I still don’t really have a clue what I am hoping to do here, and yet here we are all together. Feels kind of disturbing and special, thanks guys.
I’m far too superstitious not to celebrate these perfectly round numbers, so here is a little get to know you game. I’ve asked myself 100 questions, of which 50 are answered truthfully. Maybe if you can pick out 10 of the lies there will be prizes? Maybe the prize will be I finally finish some of the pieces I’ve been working on during this holy sabbatical thing to share with you, or finally update the web layout so it’s easier to navigate, or like fun personalized postcards?? Who knows, hard to say really.

  1. What is the trait you most deplore about yourself? Psycho slut and vapid millennial.
  2. What is the trait you most deplore in others? Unadventurous taste.
  3. What brings you down the most often? My over active imagination and under stimulated mind.
  4. Which living person do you most admire? A man in uniform.
  5. Which living person do you most despise? The person who stole my fairy wings.
  6. What is your idea of perfect happiness? enough riches to buy a boat and travel the world to never return.
  7. What is your greatest fear? That I am alternately too much or not enough.
  8. Where would you most like to live? Climax, Saskatchewan.
  9. What is your most treasured possession? My notebooks.
  10. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as your dinner guest? Searle Sneer.
  11. Would you like to be famous, and in what way? I would like to be known well enough to work abroad, but still obscure enough not to be bothered in the street. Critical acclaim without mass hysteria.
  12. Before making a telephone call do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why? No, never, I just stare at the keypad longingly imagining the whole conversation in my head.
  13. What would constitute a perfect day for you? Waking up languidly with the sun to write and yawn, followed by yoga and meditation, tea and toast, intensive work creating in the studio until two or three in the afternoon, a late lunch and a stroll through the park with a thoughtful friend, a long nap perhaps with a good book, dinner with lots of laughter and music perhaps some wine, a quiet moment when the city is silent before bed to reflect and take note.
  14. What do you regard as the lowest depths of misery? the mind that is aware of it’s own limitations and flaws but too afraid or lazy to make a go of self discovery anyways.
  15. What is your favourite occupation? Prophet.
  16. What is your most marked characteristic? A knack for making people feel at ease.
  17. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else? I make up songs compulsively while puttering around my house. I try to be merciful with other’s ears.
  18. What did you learn yesterday? How to love with out feeling broken.
  19. What is your greatest extravagance? Emotional excess.
  20. What is your current state of mind? Restless reflective.
  21. What do you consider the most over rated virtue? Punctuality and ‘busyness’.
  22. On what occasion do you lie? I never lie.
  23. What is your preferred drink? Straight scotch on the rocks.
  24. What do you most dislike about your appearance? All of it.
  25. What do you most like about your appearance? All of it.
  26. Are you good at keeping secrets? Like a steal trap.
  27. What is the last message that you sent? The more I think that I shouldn’t feel this sad the more sad I feel.
  28. Do you have any weird party tricks? Meet ya in the bathroom to find out.
  29. For what in your life do you feel most grateful? The community of internet (and now irl) women, that have started sticking up and showing up for each other in a bad ass way. Solidarity, friendship, witchcraft.
  30. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?  Where is the buried treasure at?
  31. Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you? Dreams have a funny way of creating and satisfying desire in the same instant, my whole life is one long cycle of dreaming and procuring.
  32. What is your most treasured memory? climbing inside of my own womb to say listen to my unborn child.
  33. What is your most terrible memory? pretending to be fine.
  34. What role does love and affection play in your life? usually the harbinger of bad news.
  35. Have you made any recent acts of kindness? I gave a cigarette to a stranger.
  36. What is the quality you most like in a man? not afraid of his feminine side.
  37. What is the quality you most like in a woman? not afraid of her masculine side.
  38. Which words or phrases do you most over use? Relateable, I’m sorry, where is trouble at, I’m running late, I fucked up.
  39. What or who is the greatest love of your life? My broken heart.
  40. When did you last cry in public? This morning.
  41. How close and warm is your family? Spread around the globe, still in touch.
  42. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? We speak regularly, share a lot, and she can drink straight whiskey better than I can.
  43. If you could change anything about the way you were raised what would it be? I would have liked to be raised on a remote island among the stars.
  44. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? My fragile ego.
  45. What do you like on pizza? Everything has it’s time and place, but the dough is the most important part.
  46. Have you ever had a dream come true? I did, and then it turned out to be a nightmare.
  47. How often do you change your underwear? I don’t wear underwear.
  48. What do you know by heart? A bit of shakespeare, some poetry, a few rap lyrics, and a lot of nonsense.
  49. When and where were you happiest? Riding the bus for hours deep into the night by myself.
  50. Which talent would you most like to have? Exceptional cunning linguist.
  51. If you could change one thing about yourself? I would like to be a quiet sensitive type.
  52. How often do you say ‘I love you’ and mean it? Often and Always.
  53. Is there anything or anyone that you would die for? My cat.
  54. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be? A double bubble comic strip.
  55. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about how you are living now? It hardly seems sudden if I have a year’s advance notice, but if I knew it most certainly I would retreat into the woods far away from society to die alone.
  56. Of all the people in your family whose death would you find the most disturbing? Why? My oldest sister because I haven’t had much of a chance to know her yet.
  57. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die? Probably in a great deal of pain, possibly delusional.
  58. Do you believe in a higher power? I am the highest power.
  59. How many times a day do you think of death? 3 – 4 times
  60. How many times a day do you think of sex? 3 – 4 times
  61. Do you put others needs before yourself? I am working on being less self effacing in altruistic impulses.
  62. What are three things you would need to survive solitary confinement? A great deal of Shakespeare, Rumi, Cohen, and Vincent memorized, sun salutations or other modified physical routines, an unanswered question.
  63.  How are the things arranged in your room? Haphazardly.
  64. How would you describe your personal aesthetic?  Manic depressive Gemini with a dramatic flare.
  65. What is the most luxurious thing you have ever bought for yourself? Either a trip to South America or my vibrator.
  66. What are your most visited websites right now? Facebook, Twitter, Slutever, Free Will Astrology, Seeking Arrangement, Dominos online delivery, WordPress, Spotify, Youtube.
  67. What are your most played albums right now? Aesop Rock – Impossible Kid, Anna Wise – The Feminine: Act 1, Astronautalis – Cut the Body Loose, Factor – Factoria, Braids – Deep in the Iris, Mitski – Lush, Kitten Forever – Pressure.
  68. What do you value most in your friends? Honesty.
  69. What do you value most in a lover? Patience.
  70. What are your favorite names? Theodore, Eleanor, Esther.
  71. What are your your favourite smells? Lilacs in the rain, my own body odour, fresh coffee.
  72. Who are your favourite writers? Herman Hesse, Sylvia Plath, Joey Comeau, Tom Robbinson, Judith Thompson.
  73. What are your favourite films? The Lobster, Ghost World, Frida, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Pi.
  74. Who do you want to see collaborate on a project? Julie Taymor, Tanya Tagaq, and Grimes create a piece split between Nunavut and Nevada.
  75. Who is your hero of fiction? Lyra Belacqua.
  76. Who are your heroes in real life? Lia Pas, Nina Simone, Isadora Duncan, Lily Baldwin, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Frida Kahlo.
  77. Which historical figure do you most identify with? Joan of Arc.
  78. How would your friends describe you? Your drive and vision inspire me to grapple with my own unfulfilled creative designs and your progressive nature forces me to question my own simplest assumptions.
  79. What makes life easier? spread sheets, automatic bill payments, do not disturb features, wifi on my phone, cloud sharing and streaming, no voicemail.
  80. What stresses you out? having to say no to good opportunities that aren’t the right opportunities, getting paid what I’m worth, small talk, unfinished business, false intimacy.
  81. What turns you on? whispered secrets, fierce kisses, gentle reminders, strong arms, wet surprises, rigorous desire.
  82. What motivates you? Insatiable curiosity, sense of competition, a lot of self torment.
  83. What is the first thing you think of in the morning? My dreams.
  84. What is the last thing you think of at night? My love.
  85. What is one thing you can’t live without? Champagne.
  86. Do you serve your money or does your money serve you? I sleep on it like a dragon.
  87. How have you changed in the last five years? I’ve become more grounded, less urgent, more charming, less charmed, more fickle, less fearful.
  88. Where do you want to be in 5 years? On the other side of the world, alone unto myself, growing my wisdom.
  89. Where do you want to be in 10 years? In bed, of a room of my own, with a young lover, and no consumer obligations.
  90. What would you tell your younger self? Spend less time trying to fix cracks, and more time breaking expectations.
  91.  Do you take people’s advice? Only what is given from the heart.
  92. What do you consider your greatest achievement? I am still here trying to make something of it.
  93. Where do you find peace? In the quiet moments between the pages or between the sheets.
  94. What is it that you most dislike? Being told to calm down.
  95. What lessons in life did you learn the hard way? Never give your pin to a drug addict.
  96. What is your greatest regret? Not learning more about my great grandmother while my granddad was alive.
  97. How would you like to die? Without much fan fare.
  98. How would you like to be remembered? A drop in the sea, the sea in a drop.
  99. What is your motto? My intensity brings me great joy.
  100. Thinking of the last question is just too much pressure for me, if you aren’t utterly sick of hearing me talk about myself by now you are free to ask the last question in the comments, or offer some of your own answers, I don’t know why I agreed to do this anymore, I’m going to go make pizza and cry in bed now (jk?) bye.
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